7:06
Inhale. Exhale. I close my eyes and all I hear are the sounds inside of my head. When I lay in silence all I hear is the silent screech that claws at the inside of my head. I can feel my heartbeat inside my inner ear and my head pulsates stronger and stronger every moment. I am sweating under my sheets. How can silence seem so loud. I tell myself everything is fine, just get up, just distract yourself, just occupy yourself. Get up and out of your mind, a third person view of my life mapped out in front me where I can wander what seems to be an endless plain. I see eyes, I feel trapped, I hear screeching. I can hear my own thoughts screaming louder and louder. Go away. I don’t want you here. I want to be alone. I want to be by myself. I don’t want to exhaust myself until I don’t have a choice. I want to make my own decision, so stop controlling me and making me believe you are me. Inhale. Exhale. You are safe. I am safe. I am okay I am fine, just open your eyes, stop squeezing them so hard you can begin to see blinding spots, like those you get from flashes of a camera. Just breathe. You are okay. You don’t need to be distracted, you do not have to be at war. You don’t have to fight. Why are you so stubborn. You aren’t by yourself. You are safe. Safe inside your own head to be and think what ever I want. Safe inside my own head to think whatever I want. I am safe. I don’t have to think like I am not me. I am me. I am me. Inhale. Exhale. You are okay. I am okay. Relax. I just have to know that nothing can get a hold of me unless I want it to. I do not have to distract myself and keep myself busy. I don’t have to compare myself to anyone. I am me. I am who I want to be. I don’t need to be anyone I’m not. I am happy. I am perfectly imperfect. I am okay. I just need to breathe. I just need to think clearly. I need clarity. Relax. I am okay. I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry. Just inhale. Exhale.
I’m praying so much for you right now, and I know God is there with you to make everything easier.
20 Day Pokemon Drawing Challenge. Leggo.
day 1 - Your personal dream team
day 2 - Scariest pokemon
day 3 - Favorite humanoid pokemon
day 4 - Favorite legendary
day 5 - Cutest pokemon
day 6 - Favorite single stage evolution
day 7 - Favorite bug
day 8 - Favorite gym leaders main pokemon
day 9 - Saddest pokemon
day 10 - Best battle scene
day 11 - Favorite Eeveelution
day 12 - Favorite you have never used
day 13 - Most badass pokemon
day 14 - Wierdest pokemon
day 15 - Ugliest pokemon
day 16 - Favorite starter
day 17 - Favorite shiny
day 18 - Favorite from each generation
day 19 - What you would have as a real pet
day 20 - Personal all time favorite
I shall do this
This is Josie trying to wake me up.
True true.
